Home Truths

Roller derby teaches you a lot about yourself.

Recently I have realised something that shook me to my core.

I'm a bad sport.

This has never really occurred to me before, mainly because I never cared enough about a sport to get upset or attitudey about it. Also, because I'm so nice!

At first I sort of ignored it, brushed it off as a one time thing, but today, while seething in the penalty box because I'd apparently cut track again I realised that the one with the problem wasn't everyone else.

I'll talk you through it how it happened.

Here's me, when I was fresh meat, at the beginning of this year.

                                         

I was quiet, a little shy, not yet completely initiated. I hesitated before giving my opinions off track, and before giving a hit on track. Everyone else's opinion was more valid than mine. I'd like to think I was a bit funnier than this kitten.

Here is me a few months ago, after I started bouting. (This is my blog, I can say what I want.)

       

I'd released my inner warrior spirit; I was coming to grips with it and being able to think for myself. I'd made a few good friends in my league and was starting to feel more confident around the dames.

However, I've noticed recently that I didn't stop there.

                            

This is what I have turned into. Rabid, sabre-toothed tiger. At this point, my inhibitions have been lowered a bit too much. It's gone too far. Now the desire to win has overcome all else. I shout a lot. I hit a lot. I get a lot of penalties and then I get angry with the refs.

In short, my opinion of myself has gone too high, and my inhibitions have gone too low. Derby at first may seem like a sport where anything goes, but that's not true. If you're being a tool in roller derby, you're still being a tool. You're just being a tool while wearing roller skates.

I am very much hoping that now I have recognised the behaviour, I'll be able to avoid it in future. I don't want to be that skater, or that person. Maybe this is the last step of the rookie ladder: recognising your abilities and limitations.

It's probably not. It's probably just the landing before another flight of stairs.